yesterday was surgery

a mom is not a person who will fall from the sky.a mom is a person you will only get once. live with her, take care of her and love her. she will do the same to you. i love mom. - kiele marston, age 11

yesterday i had a uterine ablation.  it wasn't a long surgery, but was under general anesthesia.  i knew that i'd have cramping after the surgery, but didn't know how bad it would initially be.  and that...along with the nausea and grogginess from the anesthesia basically kicked my ass.  i slept the entire day and night away yesterday, waking up for only a short bit, at 8 PM.  

my dear friend, mary, drove me back and forth, had dinner and flowers for me at the house, and took care of the little ones all night.  i can't thank her enough for her kindness and willingness to help--to go above and beyond.  i don't know what i would have done without her.  thank you a million mary and jason!  i don't know how i can repay you for your goodness...but i will.

and then this morning, i woke up to this letter, from kiele. and i sobbed. i know i say it often, but she is the most amazing, kind, giving child. it's beyond what words can describe. how is one blessed with such a wonderful child? that's often the question i ask myself. she makes me a better person, that's for sure.

and she is why this move has me so stressed out. a lot of my friends say, don't worry. everything will be fine. things will be okay.

but right now, i don't know they'll be fine.  things are different. they're different and tougher when you have a special needs child that you have to advocate and sometimes fight for. and that is what i will do for kiele. if i have to, i will fight until i have no more breath to fight with. i stress about getting her in the right school. about the possibility of the district challenging the services that have been deemed appropriate for the past four years, while in san diego. i stress about her having a difficult time in the classroom b/c she doesn't have the appropriate services and losing the great love and joy she currently has for school. i basically stress about screwing things up for kiele. i am her advocate. i have to make sure she has what is right...what she needs...what is appropriate. that is my job, as her mother.

i hope you enjoy the little bits of goodness that i can share of kiele.  i wish i could share her with the world.