anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. but to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.”- author unknown
always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. - harriet tubman
over the past few days, i've sent my husband a number of emails--not the pleasant ones about how much we miss him and can't wait to have him home--no, he's been receiving my stressed out emails, sharing the negative information i've been receiving from others about RI's deaf/hard-of-hearing state of being. i was so trying to think positive, especially in the beginning, but when you're hit email after email, call after call, with negative information about the deaf/hard-of-hearing services...it's hard to remain positive (although i still try and do so). a small excerpt from an email today, from someone who currently lives in rhode island:
the school systems in RI are full of corruption and red tape - it's rather tough.
with all my heart, i hope i'm amazingly, wonderfully surprised at how great kiele's school transition goes.
and then... today, i received the following email from my husband (i had emailed him about how f&%#(*@ up things were and that i'm not sure we would be able to go with him to rhode island b/c things were just too hard)...
Well I really didn't know how to reply and waited a day to see if I saw anything else from you. I read your blog and it seems in there like you are still considering moving. It would really, really, really suck to be out there without you and the kids. I know you are stressed about the schools and you might think that I just don't care, but I think everything will be fine out there. I think Kiele is amazing and even in the toughest situations she does amazingly well.
It would be ridiculous for me to be there by myself and have that be the only time in my career (20 some years) where I could have more time at home, enjoying life with my family. I just want to have time hanging out with you guys; I don't want to be sitting there hearing how tough it is in San Diego and all the things I am missing out on. There are a lot of I's in those sentences but it is for us that I say it. I don't think living apart for another year in this kind of situation is a good choice. and like that...everything fell into place. it was exactly what i needed...a roundabout kick in the ass, in my husband's ever so polite way, to get myself refocused. we're moving this summer. i can do this...for kiele...for our family...and maybe even for other deaf/hard-of-hearing kids in rhode island. i will advocate for what is appropriate, with all my might. and i won't give up. in the end, i will win b/c i'm advocating for what's appropriate, right? how can i not win? i have the strength, the passion and the determination to do this. i can and i will.
some have emailed me regarding the possibility of living in CT and kiele attending school there. i'm currently investigating that possibility; however, i'm not sure how feasible it is b/c steve's drive to newport would be 1-2 hours (depending on where in CT).
also, i wanted to thank everyone for their friendship and support. so many have gone out of their way to inquire with friends they know in RI, research things on the internet for me, email words of encouragement, etc. thank you. thank you. thank you.
steve, thank you honey, for being so calm and collected, amidst my stress. thank you for being the most amazing husband and father. thank you for being you...and loving me. i can't wait till you're back home with us!
our pre-deployment photo, taken a few days before he left: