inspired... her.  to write this.  just like a good cry.  sometimes this is needed too: - i've struggled with confidence my entire life, although if you met me, you'd probably never know it until you really got to know me.

- i don't think i'm a great mother.  but i long to be.

- i have skeletor, grandma hands. always have.  my sister teased me about them as a child.

- i struggle with perfectionism.  it's not a good thing because i'm never good enough.  refer back to first point.

- i don't think i'm a great wife these days either.  apologized to my husband last night about that very thing.  referred to myself as a brat.  and i have a few friends that have reminded me in the past what a great husband steve is, along with being hot and...that i better be careful.  their statement hovers in the back of my mind. always.

- i have dreadlocks and like botox.  steve thinks it's hilarious and terrible at the same time.  oh well.

- i really want my dreads to be pretty dreads and work hard to keep them that way.  and i'm sure real dread heads laugh at me.  or worse. oh well.  it's not really a spiritual journey for me either, but it is a journey of sorts.

- i don't talk to my sister.  or my dad.  and only talk to my mom a bit.  i'm not sure it will ever change.  although it could, if i initiated healing the past.  for the moment, i did send my dad a christmas card with a note that said, i'm sad we never talk.

- i am a terrible communicator, except on my blog and email.  in person, i really suck.

- i'm proud of my husband.  for always working hard, giving 110% and doing the best that he can--no matter what position or job he's held (sad that the navy didn't acknowledge it).  and for simply being the amazing man, husband, father and friend that he is.  i don't tell him nearly enough.  but i just emailed him about it.  refer back to previous point.

- sometimes i want to quit photography  because of the competition of it all.  and refer to previous blog's so, so difficult to not be consumed.

- i really, truly and deeply just want to make a difference.  and it makes me sick that i'm not already doing so.

- i wish i took this picture. or at least that it was my feet. i'd have it printed and hanging on my wall. but i didn't. i found it here.

- i read each and every blog post about 10 times before publishing.  i need to hurry and click publish with this one, before i change my mind and chicken out.

thank you terri. for being you.  for being honest.  always.  you inspire me.  and...i needed this.