be like the bird that, pausing in her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings.
- victor hugo
it's a nice thought to hang on to...
that we all have wings and when times get tough and it seems that the branches we're standing on are weak, things will be okay because we can soar, before the branch breaks, and find the strength of another branch.
steve is doing really well. his swelling is now decreasing and he is taking his pain medication less and less each day.
truly...i'm so thankful that things happened the way they did.
i am at peace right now and it feels so good. i made the decision to cut back business a bit and not let "my passion become a machine". and i can't tell you how important that was to me...to my family. my husband says i'm a different person. not really. i'm the same person as always but i'm not letting my business run my life.
and i'm so thankful that my mom fully recovered from her stroke and that steve wasn't hurt worse. after he told me what happened, when i got that dreaded call from KS, all i could think about was...he could have broken his neck or had major head trauma. a broken face 'aint that bad. and it wasn't.
- victor hugo
it's a nice thought to hang on to...
that we all have wings and when times get tough and it seems that the branches we're standing on are weak, things will be okay because we can soar, before the branch breaks, and find the strength of another branch.
steve is doing really well. his swelling is now decreasing and he is taking his pain medication less and less each day.
truly...i'm so thankful that things happened the way they did.
i am at peace right now and it feels so good. i made the decision to cut back business a bit and not let "my passion become a machine". and i can't tell you how important that was to me...to my family. my husband says i'm a different person. not really. i'm the same person as always but i'm not letting my business run my life.
and i'm so thankful that my mom fully recovered from her stroke and that steve wasn't hurt worse. after he told me what happened, when i got that dreaded call from KS, all i could think about was...he could have broken his neck or had major head trauma. a broken face 'aint that bad. and it wasn't.
there are actually two sides to every question.
- protagoras
post-op, day 1.
poor steve.
the worst part is turning out to be the swelling. and he can't open his mouth very much. he still has quite a bit of pain; however, the pain is being controlled with the pain meds. the MD told me that day two or three would be the worst as far as swelling goes. we're hoping the swelling doesn't get much worse. so all in all, steve is doing pretty well...plugging right along and hoping tomorrow is a better day.
- protagoras
post-op, day 1.
poor steve.
the worst part is turning out to be the swelling. and he can't open his mouth very much. he still has quite a bit of pain; however, the pain is being controlled with the pain meds. the MD told me that day two or three would be the worst as far as swelling goes. we're hoping the swelling doesn't get much worse. so all in all, steve is doing pretty well...plugging right along and hoping tomorrow is a better day.
over the years, she filled herself with the best the world could offer,
but she still kept a little place open for frozen peas.
- storypeople
over the past few days, we've been putting our frozen peas to good use.
steve's surgery was yesterday, scheduled for 8:45 AM. max's birthday party was yesterday, 10 AM - 1 PM. i had told max's parents that i wasn't going to be able to shoot max's party, due to steve having surgery on the same day. then i read that max wasn't doing well; his neuroblastoma blood indicators continue to go up and they are losing their battle again neuroblastoma. hearing max's parents say this ripped at my heart. they are always so positive and hopeful and while they continue to hold on to hope, reality is also sitting at their table. so i talked to steve about everything and asked him how he felt about me leaving the hospital once he was in surgery and returning when he was in recovery. he said it was okay. even though he said it was okay, i felt bad (i didn't want him to think i didn't care about him) and told him that i would ask a friend if she could shoot max's party. steve said, no...for me to do it b/c what was i going to do but sit there, while he was in surgery.
so, we arrived at the hospital yesterday at 7:30 for the scheduled 8:45 AM surgery. got bummed an hour for a surgery that came through the ER. then got bumped again. i ended up leaving at 11 AM, before steve actually went into surgery. he ended up not getting taken back to the OR until 12:45.
timing actually worked out for the best and i was able to photograph max's main birthday events and get back to steve before he came out of surgery.
everything went well with steve's surgery. they went through his mouth and placed an L-shaped plate and four screws on his zygomatic arch bone (the one that you feel below your eye). all the other fractured bones were not displaced and will heal on their own. steve is currently in a lot of pain (although the pain meds are working pretty well) and very, very swollen. he can't open his mouth very wide and he can only eat really soft foods (lots of jamba juice). he's also using frozen vegetables on his face (an improvised soft ice pack), to help with the swelling. one time he grabbed frozen onions and i told him he can't use onions b/c when they start to thaw, he's going to smell like a big onion head. she's now sticking with frozen peas and corn :-)
so while things are beginning to normalize, i'm now playing catch up with things (voice mails, emails, editing...life).
and very thankful everything worked out...
my mom is doing well, with no residual effects from the stroke.
steve's surgery went well and hopefully after a week of recovery, he will be back to himself. (yes, if all heals like it should, he's going to iraq in 2 weeks.)
i was able to capture max's 7th birthday party after all. happy birthday buddy!
but she still kept a little place open for frozen peas.
- storypeople
over the past few days, we've been putting our frozen peas to good use.
steve's surgery was yesterday, scheduled for 8:45 AM. max's birthday party was yesterday, 10 AM - 1 PM. i had told max's parents that i wasn't going to be able to shoot max's party, due to steve having surgery on the same day. then i read that max wasn't doing well; his neuroblastoma blood indicators continue to go up and they are losing their battle again neuroblastoma. hearing max's parents say this ripped at my heart. they are always so positive and hopeful and while they continue to hold on to hope, reality is also sitting at their table. so i talked to steve about everything and asked him how he felt about me leaving the hospital once he was in surgery and returning when he was in recovery. he said it was okay. even though he said it was okay, i felt bad (i didn't want him to think i didn't care about him) and told him that i would ask a friend if she could shoot max's party. steve said, no...for me to do it b/c what was i going to do but sit there, while he was in surgery.
so, we arrived at the hospital yesterday at 7:30 for the scheduled 8:45 AM surgery. got bummed an hour for a surgery that came through the ER. then got bumped again. i ended up leaving at 11 AM, before steve actually went into surgery. he ended up not getting taken back to the OR until 12:45.
timing actually worked out for the best and i was able to photograph max's main birthday events and get back to steve before he came out of surgery.
everything went well with steve's surgery. they went through his mouth and placed an L-shaped plate and four screws on his zygomatic arch bone (the one that you feel below your eye). all the other fractured bones were not displaced and will heal on their own. steve is currently in a lot of pain (although the pain meds are working pretty well) and very, very swollen. he can't open his mouth very wide and he can only eat really soft foods (lots of jamba juice). he's also using frozen vegetables on his face (an improvised soft ice pack), to help with the swelling. one time he grabbed frozen onions and i told him he can't use onions b/c when they start to thaw, he's going to smell like a big onion head. she's now sticking with frozen peas and corn :-)
so while things are beginning to normalize, i'm now playing catch up with things (voice mails, emails, editing...life).
and very thankful everything worked out...
my mom is doing well, with no residual effects from the stroke.
steve's surgery went well and hopefully after a week of recovery, he will be back to himself. (yes, if all heals like it should, he's going to iraq in 2 weeks.)
i was able to capture max's 7th birthday party after all. happy birthday buddy!
love heals all wounds.
- author unknown
and so we're smothering him with love!
hard to believe that steve has multiple broken facial bones in this photo (taken just a few minutes prior to this blog post). didn't go to the ER last night but we did go to an ear, nose and throat MD this afternoon and steve will be having surgery sunday morning for his multiple zygomatic arch fractures (the bone under his eye). he'll be having pins and plates put in to set the zygomatic bone back in place. the other bone fractures will actually just heal on their own.
all in all, steve has fractures of the left anterior and lateral walls of left maxillary sinus, a fracture of the posterolateral wall of left orbit and multiple fractures of zygomatic arch. considering all of that, he's doing really well. he does have some facial swelling, which actually hides the deformities of the zygomatic bone breaks, and he now has a bit of a black eye. he's taking some pain medication, which helps ease the pain.
we're so glad to have steve home and glad it wasn't any worse than it was. we've been having some really great time together and i'm so thankful for that.
of course, as long as the surgery goes well, he's cleared to go to iraq in three weeks (for three weeks) and then deploy to iraq (for 7 months) in october.
and thank you a million times over to those that have been there for my family and i over the past few days. i don't know if i can ever thank you enough!
- author unknown
and so we're smothering him with love!
hard to believe that steve has multiple broken facial bones in this photo (taken just a few minutes prior to this blog post). didn't go to the ER last night but we did go to an ear, nose and throat MD this afternoon and steve will be having surgery sunday morning for his multiple zygomatic arch fractures (the bone under his eye). he'll be having pins and plates put in to set the zygomatic bone back in place. the other bone fractures will actually just heal on their own.
all in all, steve has fractures of the left anterior and lateral walls of left maxillary sinus, a fracture of the posterolateral wall of left orbit and multiple fractures of zygomatic arch. considering all of that, he's doing really well. he does have some facial swelling, which actually hides the deformities of the zygomatic bone breaks, and he now has a bit of a black eye. he's taking some pain medication, which helps ease the pain.
we're so glad to have steve home and glad it wasn't any worse than it was. we've been having some really great time together and i'm so thankful for that.
of course, as long as the surgery goes well, he's cleared to go to iraq in three weeks (for three weeks) and then deploy to iraq (for 7 months) in october.
and thank you a million times over to those that have been there for my family and i over the past few days. i don't know if i can ever thank you enough!
some people walk in the rain...
other just get wet...
- roger miller
well, i'm getting pretty darn wet at the moment. i feel like it's raining and storming at times, right in front of my eyes...BUT i keep walking.
two days ago, my mom, who is 60, had a mini stroke. she's now back at home (in sacramento) and doing well, but it sure was quite a couple of days. then this morning, i got a call from steve. he's in kansas, doing some training with the army unit that he is going to deploy with, in october. well, during one of their breaks, they were playing football and as steve went to tackle the guy with the football, the guy moved and steve's face smashed into the guys head. steve has about five fractures of his left cheek bones and fracture fragments in his maxillary and orbital sinus cavities. he's flying home tonight and will hopefully see the local naval hospital's ear, nose and throat MD, in the morning. i'm not sure what's going to happen (surgery or what) but steve mentioned that he's in severe pain and he feels like his upper left teeth have shifted. he said that he looks fine and you can barely tell (on the outside) that anything is wrong, but he sure can feel it.
i'm worried about him but so thankful that he is okay. i'm hoping and praying that his flight home goes well and he is not in additional pain. they cleared him to fly home (in the pressurized cabin) and one other guy is traveling home with him, to make sure steve gets to san diego safely. through it all, i don't really feel stressed. i keep thinking how things could have been much worse and how lucky we really are. and then...i just am dealing with things as they come.
and funny enough, as i was typing this blog post, i hear kiele singing in the background, t's raining...it's pouring. the old man is snoring. i'm like...what? kiele, why are you singing that?. she didn't know i was writing this. well, it turned out that it was raining on her video game. how fitting it all was.
so signing off for now. more updates to come tomorrow, after steve (hopefully) sees ENT and we figure out what's really going on.
and again, thanks for all the wonderful emails. i am trying to email everyone back. if i haven't replied to you...i will soon ;-)
ETA: looks like we're going to the navy base ER tonight, to have steve evaluated here.
other just get wet...
- roger miller
well, i'm getting pretty darn wet at the moment. i feel like it's raining and storming at times, right in front of my eyes...BUT i keep walking.
two days ago, my mom, who is 60, had a mini stroke. she's now back at home (in sacramento) and doing well, but it sure was quite a couple of days. then this morning, i got a call from steve. he's in kansas, doing some training with the army unit that he is going to deploy with, in october. well, during one of their breaks, they were playing football and as steve went to tackle the guy with the football, the guy moved and steve's face smashed into the guys head. steve has about five fractures of his left cheek bones and fracture fragments in his maxillary and orbital sinus cavities. he's flying home tonight and will hopefully see the local naval hospital's ear, nose and throat MD, in the morning. i'm not sure what's going to happen (surgery or what) but steve mentioned that he's in severe pain and he feels like his upper left teeth have shifted. he said that he looks fine and you can barely tell (on the outside) that anything is wrong, but he sure can feel it.
i'm worried about him but so thankful that he is okay. i'm hoping and praying that his flight home goes well and he is not in additional pain. they cleared him to fly home (in the pressurized cabin) and one other guy is traveling home with him, to make sure steve gets to san diego safely. through it all, i don't really feel stressed. i keep thinking how things could have been much worse and how lucky we really are. and then...i just am dealing with things as they come.
and funny enough, as i was typing this blog post, i hear kiele singing in the background, t's raining...it's pouring. the old man is snoring. i'm like...what? kiele, why are you singing that?. she didn't know i was writing this. well, it turned out that it was raining on her video game. how fitting it all was.
so signing off for now. more updates to come tomorrow, after steve (hopefully) sees ENT and we figure out what's really going on.
and again, thanks for all the wonderful emails. i am trying to email everyone back. if i haven't replied to you...i will soon ;-)
ETA: looks like we're going to the navy base ER tonight, to have steve evaluated here.
clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too;
this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what he loves.
- blaise pascal
seeking clarity, that's all.
and clarifying...
i and my photography are not going anywhere.
i had just taken on too much.
easing back on business a little.
i've been so busy.
so lucky...so blessed to be busy.
i'm still going to be shooting and hopefully lots.
for me.
doing what i love.
and getting things in order.
been trying to launch new website and blog for six months.
it's things like this that cloud my thoughts.
it's things like this that i must complete.
so i can have clarity.
so i can breathe.
freely.
so i can think.
freely.
this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what he loves.
- blaise pascal
seeking clarity, that's all.
and clarifying...
i and my photography are not going anywhere.
i had just taken on too much.
easing back on business a little.
i've been so busy.
so lucky...so blessed to be busy.
i'm still going to be shooting and hopefully lots.
for me.
doing what i love.
and getting things in order.
been trying to launch new website and blog for six months.
it's things like this that cloud my thoughts.
it's things like this that i must complete.
so i can have clarity.
so i can breathe.
freely.
so i can think.
freely.
it is a heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance.
it is a dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance.
it is the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give.
and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.
- bette midler
doing a lot of philosophical pondering lately...
as first said a couple days ago by my amazing friend, steph beaty.
pondering about life.
about business.
there's a number of things that have led up to this, only some of which i'm willing to share right now. but i'm feeling a bit lost lately (and the cruise didn't help). wondering where photography has taken me. wondering where i want to go. don't get me wrong...i absolutely LOVE what i do through and through, but have i allowed photography to consume my life? believe it or not, it's easy to do, especially with my have to be the best, perfectionist, type-A personality. and having a family, a husband who is gone a ton...i can't let photography and a home business consume me. i just can't.
it's been 2 1/2 years now, since first starting photography, and i have yet to find the balance--the correct balance--of mother, wife, photographer and business owner. i'm doing them all well but feel that i'm not doing any of them as great as i'd like. i know others would say that that's b/c of my personality but i have to figure this all out.
i've decided to take somewhat of a break and take less sessions through the summer and see where things take me--as a wife...as a mother...as a photographer...as a business owner. i'm still going to shoot. just less business shooting. i think i owe it to my family. i think i owe it to myself.
i need to sit back and think.
and try...to figure it all out.
in saying all of that, i got the most wonderful email today that i'll share below. i truly believe that everything happens for a reason and well...this email couldn't have come at a better time.
Wow
I absolutely loved your work!
Your use of available light is beautiful,
There's something so peaceful in your images, that going through them was like some sort of... walking in the field experience...
:)
thanks L for taking the time to send this to me. it meant more than you know.
and thanks steph for being the most amazing and beautiful friend...for always being there for me and keeping me grounded. i appreciate your friendship more than you'll ever know. love ya pal.
ETA: again...i absolutely love photography and feel that it's what i was meant to do in life. sometimes i think i love photography too much ;) i just have to find the balance. and do a little soul searching. thanks for all the emails of support.
it is a dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance.
it is the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give.
and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.
- bette midler
doing a lot of philosophical pondering lately...
as first said a couple days ago by my amazing friend, steph beaty.
pondering about life.
about business.
there's a number of things that have led up to this, only some of which i'm willing to share right now. but i'm feeling a bit lost lately (and the cruise didn't help). wondering where photography has taken me. wondering where i want to go. don't get me wrong...i absolutely LOVE what i do through and through, but have i allowed photography to consume my life? believe it or not, it's easy to do, especially with my have to be the best, perfectionist, type-A personality. and having a family, a husband who is gone a ton...i can't let photography and a home business consume me. i just can't.
it's been 2 1/2 years now, since first starting photography, and i have yet to find the balance--the correct balance--of mother, wife, photographer and business owner. i'm doing them all well but feel that i'm not doing any of them as great as i'd like. i know others would say that that's b/c of my personality but i have to figure this all out.
i've decided to take somewhat of a break and take less sessions through the summer and see where things take me--as a wife...as a mother...as a photographer...as a business owner. i'm still going to shoot. just less business shooting. i think i owe it to my family. i think i owe it to myself.
i need to sit back and think.
and try...to figure it all out.
in saying all of that, i got the most wonderful email today that i'll share below. i truly believe that everything happens for a reason and well...this email couldn't have come at a better time.
Wow
I absolutely loved your work!
Your use of available light is beautiful,
There's something so peaceful in your images, that going through them was like some sort of... walking in the field experience...
:)
thanks L for taking the time to send this to me. it meant more than you know.
and thanks steph for being the most amazing and beautiful friend...for always being there for me and keeping me grounded. i appreciate your friendship more than you'll ever know. love ya pal.
ETA: again...i absolutely love photography and feel that it's what i was meant to do in life. sometimes i think i love photography too much ;) i just have to find the balance. and do a little soul searching. thanks for all the emails of support.