we ourselves often feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean.
but the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.
- mother teresa
let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.
- buddha
i think i posted this quote before but...it's perfect for how i feel at the moment.
first, we had an amazing time at disneyland this past weekend. family time. we arrived to the most magical place on earth saturday morning. smiling, excited, happy faces. we spent the entire day riding rides at disney (ryder is now too short for only two of the rides). we stayed the night at the disneyland hotel and watched the fireworks right from our room. then back to disney all sunday. our disney day closed with really sore feet and a parade that the kids loved, especially sky, who waved and said hi to each and every princess. (even though my kids wouldn't come near the people in character suits b/c they were too afraid.)
then back to life. kiele had thrown up last week (15 times in one day). i was down a couple days with some kind of head cold. monday, steve came home early from work, tired and with a stomach ache. i thought it was because his small pox shot, which he got in preparation for his iraq deployment. nope. he threw up and was in bed all monday and tuesday. yesterday morning, i took ryder to the MD b/c i thought he had croup. he did and got put on steroids. he's doing much better today but still two more days of steroids. then...last night was sky's turn. to puke. ugh. it's a weird, early virus season and seems to be hitting the schwedhelm house, in full force. bam. can you take this virus? how about this one? okay, you handled those two...how about this virus?
my big concern at the moment is ryder and/or i getting the stomach virus. we'll probably get it (odds have it). but i want it to wait until after the weekend. steve's parents arrive friday, to see steve before he goes to iraq. and i'm hoping and praying that we're all healthy, while they're here. we will see. but we're definitely taking our vitamins, etc.
life is just crazy at the moment. tons of running around...errands. and i have barely shot lately. i took a few photos at disney but not many at all. camera was bulky and hard to carry on the rides. i need to get back to my thought of carrying around a point and shoot for the every day. that would have been much better and i would have actually shot...i think. feeling the urge to shoot. but need time. and need to get my family healthy first.
in the end, i am thankful. really thankful. i think about what i am thankful for many times throughout each day. i think it keeps me focused in the right direction, thinking about the positives and not dwelling on the present negatives.
a shot of steve and the kids, in our hotel room, planning their disney day.
- buddha
i think i posted this quote before but...it's perfect for how i feel at the moment.
first, we had an amazing time at disneyland this past weekend. family time. we arrived to the most magical place on earth saturday morning. smiling, excited, happy faces. we spent the entire day riding rides at disney (ryder is now too short for only two of the rides). we stayed the night at the disneyland hotel and watched the fireworks right from our room. then back to disney all sunday. our disney day closed with really sore feet and a parade that the kids loved, especially sky, who waved and said hi to each and every princess. (even though my kids wouldn't come near the people in character suits b/c they were too afraid.)
then back to life. kiele had thrown up last week (15 times in one day). i was down a couple days with some kind of head cold. monday, steve came home early from work, tired and with a stomach ache. i thought it was because his small pox shot, which he got in preparation for his iraq deployment. nope. he threw up and was in bed all monday and tuesday. yesterday morning, i took ryder to the MD b/c i thought he had croup. he did and got put on steroids. he's doing much better today but still two more days of steroids. then...last night was sky's turn. to puke. ugh. it's a weird, early virus season and seems to be hitting the schwedhelm house, in full force. bam. can you take this virus? how about this one? okay, you handled those two...how about this virus?
my big concern at the moment is ryder and/or i getting the stomach virus. we'll probably get it (odds have it). but i want it to wait until after the weekend. steve's parents arrive friday, to see steve before he goes to iraq. and i'm hoping and praying that we're all healthy, while they're here. we will see. but we're definitely taking our vitamins, etc.
life is just crazy at the moment. tons of running around...errands. and i have barely shot lately. i took a few photos at disney but not many at all. camera was bulky and hard to carry on the rides. i need to get back to my thought of carrying around a point and shoot for the every day. that would have been much better and i would have actually shot...i think. feeling the urge to shoot. but need time. and need to get my family healthy first.
in the end, i am thankful. really thankful. i think about what i am thankful for many times throughout each day. i think it keeps me focused in the right direction, thinking about the positives and not dwelling on the present negatives.
a shot of steve and the kids, in our hotel room, planning their disney day.
the more you praise and celebrate your life,
the more there is in life to celebrate.
- oprah winfrey
and today. today was a day to celebrate, i tell ya.
as i was cleaning my kitchen, i all of a sudden decided that it was time...time to finally remove the childproof cabinet locks. really? i hesitated, at first. could it be? could it be that my days of shoving my finger in the smallest of spaces, to press a lever, to simply open a cabinet door are over. yes! yes, they are. the cabinet locks are gone. G-O-N-E...gone! i hollered and danced around with the little ones, celebrating the occasion. we celebrated how big ryder was and that b/c he is now such a big boy, we no longer need the magic locks. they laughed at me. they danced with me. they celebrated with me. today was a big day.
also, today...i received ryder's preschool picture proofs. couldn't help but laugh. at his cuteness, of course. actually, i think i've officially warped my son. on the day of his photos, i asked him...
me: did you look cute?
ryder: yep?
me: how did you smile?
ryder: turns to me. smiles with tightly pursed lips. like that.
and yep, that's basically what he did. oh, i adore that little boy. or should i say...big boy ;-)
the more there is in life to celebrate.
- oprah winfrey
and today. today was a day to celebrate, i tell ya.
as i was cleaning my kitchen, i all of a sudden decided that it was time...time to finally remove the childproof cabinet locks. really? i hesitated, at first. could it be? could it be that my days of shoving my finger in the smallest of spaces, to press a lever, to simply open a cabinet door are over. yes! yes, they are. the cabinet locks are gone. G-O-N-E...gone! i hollered and danced around with the little ones, celebrating the occasion. we celebrated how big ryder was and that b/c he is now such a big boy, we no longer need the magic locks. they laughed at me. they danced with me. they celebrated with me. today was a big day.
also, today...i received ryder's preschool picture proofs. couldn't help but laugh. at his cuteness, of course. actually, i think i've officially warped my son. on the day of his photos, i asked him...
me: did you look cute?
ryder: yep?
me: how did you smile?
ryder: turns to me. smiles with tightly pursed lips. like that.
and yep, that's basically what he did. oh, i adore that little boy. or should i say...big boy ;-)
i am only one, but still I am one. i cannot do everything, but still can do something; and because i cannot do everything, i will not refuse to do something that i can do.
- helen keller
kiele was able to choose any autobiography, to read, for her new english assignment and she chose helen keller. she had already known a bit about helen keller, from first grade, but i'm excited for kiele to really know about her, her life and what a truly incredible woman she was.
yesterday, i rested. in bed for the night, by 5 PM. not out of choice, but due to sickness. a head cold, flu...whatever. it's kicking my butt.
and this morning, i awoke, to discover that kiele had been throwing up through the night. and she hasn't stopped.
it's no fun being sick but i also worry about our limited time left with steve (27 days, to be exact). we have big family plans for this weekend and i want us all to be healthy. i want to have fun. together. whole. as a family.
so i think throughout the day today about positive things and healthy thoughts. and i remember. it is easier for us all to be sick, while steve is still here. and maybe that's what this is all about. i have to be thankful that this is happening right now. and hopefully not on the weekend. and hopefully not while i'm managing life and the three kids by myself (although seven months is a long time to go without sickness ;-).
no matter what.
i will remember.
i am only one.
i can't do everything.
i will do my best.
i am blessed.
- helen keller
kiele was able to choose any autobiography, to read, for her new english assignment and she chose helen keller. she had already known a bit about helen keller, from first grade, but i'm excited for kiele to really know about her, her life and what a truly incredible woman she was.
yesterday, i rested. in bed for the night, by 5 PM. not out of choice, but due to sickness. a head cold, flu...whatever. it's kicking my butt.
and this morning, i awoke, to discover that kiele had been throwing up through the night. and she hasn't stopped.
it's no fun being sick but i also worry about our limited time left with steve (27 days, to be exact). we have big family plans for this weekend and i want us all to be healthy. i want to have fun. together. whole. as a family.
so i think throughout the day today about positive things and healthy thoughts. and i remember. it is easier for us all to be sick, while steve is still here. and maybe that's what this is all about. i have to be thankful that this is happening right now. and hopefully not on the weekend. and hopefully not while i'm managing life and the three kids by myself (although seven months is a long time to go without sickness ;-).
no matter what.
i will remember.
i am only one.
i can't do everything.
i will do my best.
i am blessed.
believe in yourself.
if you can do that, you can make anything happen.
- author unknown
this was taken on my recent trip to hawaii and...hawaii was absolutely magical. it was the first time steve and i have been alone together (more than 2 hours), since meeting. basically...we were instantly a family of three, b/c kiele is from my previous marriage. and within 15 months of being married, we were a family of five. and in that 15 months, we were separate from one another 11 months (5 months b/c i was still in the air force [me in FL and steve in WA] and then steve's 6 month deployment). i LOVED our time together in hawaii. and needless to say...we so needed it.
if you haven't done it...time alone with your spouse, do it!!
if you can do that, you can make anything happen.
- author unknown
this was taken on my recent trip to hawaii and...hawaii was absolutely magical. it was the first time steve and i have been alone together (more than 2 hours), since meeting. basically...we were instantly a family of three, b/c kiele is from my previous marriage. and within 15 months of being married, we were a family of five. and in that 15 months, we were separate from one another 11 months (5 months b/c i was still in the air force [me in FL and steve in WA] and then steve's 6 month deployment). i LOVED our time together in hawaii. and needless to say...we so needed it.
if you haven't done it...time alone with your spouse, do it!!
no one can prepare you for what heights you will soar until you spread your wings.
- author unknown
taken in hawaii. and i had THE MOST magical time in hawaii. five days alone with my husband. if you haven't done it...days alone with your spouse. do it!
- author unknown
taken in hawaii. and i had THE MOST magical time in hawaii. five days alone with my husband. if you haven't done it...days alone with your spouse. do it!
for a long time, she flew only when she thought no one else was watching.
- storypeople
i've rewritten this post three times now. unable to find the right words. feeling far behind in blogging...my mind is flooded with thoughts. i write. rewrite. hoping that one of the times, the words will flow. but they don't and i erase. again and again. it's late. i need to get up early. so i close for the night, hoping to wake to a clearer mind tomorrow.
- storypeople
i've rewritten this post three times now. unable to find the right words. feeling far behind in blogging...my mind is flooded with thoughts. i write. rewrite. hoping that one of the times, the words will flow. but they don't and i erase. again and again. it's late. i need to get up early. so i close for the night, hoping to wake to a clearer mind tomorrow.
what you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.
- pericles
and the beauty of max and his goodness have become woven into so many lives.
this morning was the celebration of max's life. it was so incredibly beautiful...
on a grassy patch overlooking del mar beach.
tons of people (adults and children).
wonderful speakers.
so many beautiful stories about max.
tables filled with legos for the kids.
two children's books read.
memory tables.
a fly by with two vintage WWIIi aircraft.
a raptor, that flew in.
truly an amazing celebration of a little boy's life, who has touched so many.
i took tons of photos for the mikulak family. this one was the last...a photo of a tree at max's school. every tree surrounding the school has an orange ribbon tied around it.
i hope to post many more photos over the next few days on the mashed potatoes blog. i know the blog has had many followers and i hope that sharing the celebration of max's life and it's beauty will help offer a closure of some sort for all.
thank you for all the wonderful support and encouragement...from the bottom of my heart.
there are a lot of things that i think about, with max...and i can't help but think that many things that happened, happened for a reason, to include something as simple as my receiving these flowers. having found out about max's passing in the morning, i was so sad when i got home from hawaii in the evening. i had a five hour flight to sit, think and cry. when i walked in the door, i almost immediately noticed the pot of orange flowers, sitting on my dining room table. i thought that it was so sweet for my mother-in-law to have bought them for me. to decorate my house? to cheer me up? i'm not sure why...but i was appreciative. later, i read on max's blog that his favorite color was orange. right then, i knew i had to photograph these flowers, in max's memory. whether real or not, for me, there was something greater in the simple pot of beautiful orange flowers. i'm making a print to give to max's parents at max's celebration of life this saturday.
and then...
last night, i removed the tag on the plant, to discover that it said...
life is simple when you're surrounded by the beauty of it all.
so often, we get worked up about how difficult or complicated our lives seem to be, but if we just sit back and really think about things, we can realize how beautiful and yes, simple, our lives really are.
for those who don't read the mashed potatoes blog or max's regular blog, max passed away august 31st at 8:45 PM. i am so incredibly saddened...and shocked. and i can't even begin to imagine the grief and pain that the mikulaks are going through.
i was in hawaii, when i found out about max. i was on vacation for five days, visiting steve, while he is there for pre-deployment training. i checked max's blog every day via my iphone and this morning, prior to steve and i leaving, to take me to the airport, i read max's blog and couldn't believe that he had passed away. i kept reading and re-reading thinking that it just couldn't be. i was numb. i was speechless. and now, the tears fall...as they have almost the entire day, as i try to find the right words for this post.
the night before I left on vacation, wednesday, aug 27th, i shot max. it wasn't a planned shoot; it was a last minute thing that max's mom and I had decided to do. my kids and I would go over to the their house for a "play date", in an attempt to be with Max for an longer period of time and hopefully catch some of those precious, but fleeting, smiles of max's.
i first met max back in december 07 and began photographing him weekly in april 08. truly, without a doubt, knowing max and his family has made me a better person. they have taught me so much. it's hard for me to put it all into words but a few words that immediately come to mind...
strength
courage
kindness
love
unselfishness
and truly, living life to the max.
so i close this post with a shot from the first time i met max (dec 07) and the last time i saw and photographed him (aug 27, 08). he was such an amazing child.
please, please keep the mikulak family in your thoughts and prayers.
i was in hawaii, when i found out about max. i was on vacation for five days, visiting steve, while he is there for pre-deployment training. i checked max's blog every day via my iphone and this morning, prior to steve and i leaving, to take me to the airport, i read max's blog and couldn't believe that he had passed away. i kept reading and re-reading thinking that it just couldn't be. i was numb. i was speechless. and now, the tears fall...as they have almost the entire day, as i try to find the right words for this post.
the night before I left on vacation, wednesday, aug 27th, i shot max. it wasn't a planned shoot; it was a last minute thing that max's mom and I had decided to do. my kids and I would go over to the their house for a "play date", in an attempt to be with Max for an longer period of time and hopefully catch some of those precious, but fleeting, smiles of max's.
i first met max back in december 07 and began photographing him weekly in april 08. truly, without a doubt, knowing max and his family has made me a better person. they have taught me so much. it's hard for me to put it all into words but a few words that immediately come to mind...
strength
courage
kindness
love
unselfishness
and truly, living life to the max.
so i close this post with a shot from the first time i met max (dec 07) and the last time i saw and photographed him (aug 27, 08). he was such an amazing child.
please, please keep the mikulak family in your thoughts and prayers.