max. seven years old. started his first day of 2nd grade yesterday. the middle child, with an older sister and a younger brother. a boy who loves video games, star wars and WWII aircraft. a boy with the biggest heart and the best smile. a boy, who is dying of neuroblastoma.

max's cancer has now spread from his bones (skull, spine, femurs and ribs) into his lungs, abdomen, liver and kidneys, despite continual treatment. they are going to be starting palliative radiation today on his liver b/c max's enlarged liver is causing him so much pain. they are hoping that the radiation relieves some of the pressure in his abdominal area so that he can be more comfortable. my heart aches for max and his family. to tell you the truth, i've basically been in tears all day about this.

the mikulak family and i have become more than photographer / client, we have become friends and i adore them. i adore their love, strength and courage. they are amazing and truly have embraced the words live life to the max.

i have discussed photographing max with max's parents in-depth and i will continue to photograph max at least once a week (probably much more) until he is pain free. you can see max's photoblog (mashed potatoes for breakfast) here and his regular blog here.

if you're the praying kind, please say a prayer for max and his family. and if you stop by his blog, please share some thoughts of strength and support. even though i see them all often, i still cannot fathom the pain they are all going through right now.

one day at a time...
this is enough.
do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone;
and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come.
live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.
- author unknown



Deb Schwedhelm Photography

when i walk to the beach on a cloudy morning
i hear the waves from the ocean say welcome
i take off my sandals and feel the sand tickle my feet like a gentle touch
the salty wind blows through my hair like wind blowing through a horse's mane
seagulls sit on mounds that were once sandcastles
i walk down to the water seeing the shells
while the icy water licks my feet
i keep walking and see the endless sand
the ocean brings down the seaweed, as gifts to me
it is time to go back now...
once i get out of the sand, i take a deep breath and wave good-bye.
- kiele marston, age 11







today, we spent a wonderful day at laguna beach, meeting new friends. friends through photography. friends i hope i will be able to call life long. and on the way home, kiele wrote the above poem...in about 10 minutes. her abilities blow my mind. the beach...the first poem in her new poem spiral notebook. she inspires me more than words can say.

and a special thank you to those who believed in kiele through the years. truly, i thank you. she wouldn't be where she is today without you.

I
AM
BLESSED!

Deb Schwedhelm Photography

knowledge does not come to us in details, but in flashes of light from heaven.
- henry david thoreau



Deb Schwedhelm Photography

i hope everyone who reads my blog knows that i also post weekly on the mashed potatoes for breakfast blog, and then ends up reading max's regular blog. i know it's a lot to hope for but i do. just in case, i wanted to share this here--

there are a couple magic water project fundraisers coming up next month, which i will be participating in.

the first one is a 5-mile walk, on september 7th, in an effort to raise at least $15,000, for a new scanner at rady's children hospital in san diego. i will be walking. you can read more about the fundraiser and if interested, pledge here.

the second fundraising event will take place on september 24th, at casa blanca salon and spa, from 3-6:30 PM. it will include various spa stations and a silent auction. i will be donating a number of prints to be auctioned off and possibly a photo session.



the photo in the above flyer was from back in december 2007, when i first met max. since then, his cancer has continued to progress and his health has significantly declined. today, his cancer indicators (certain lab values) are very high and continue to rapidly climb. he's not walking. he's dealing with nausea, constipation and leg, neck and head pain. and he's going through a new chemo combination, which his parents say is likely their last shot at stopping max's cancer.

please, if you haven't in the past, please consider donating to the magic water project's 5-mile walk or if you're local, attending the spa event fundraiser. you can read more about the magic water project foundation here and max here and here.

every great dream begins with a dreamer.
always remember...
you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion
to reach for the stars and change the world.
- harriet tubman

i'm so happy to share with you my new website.

i still, to this day...cannot believe that i'm living my dream. i'm a photographer doing what i love and am so passionate about. doing what i used to only dream about. i'm not sure if i'll change the world but i sure hope that i can bring happiness and inspiration into peoples lives with my photography.

as we grow together, change together, dream together, cry together, laugh together, i will look back on our days and cherish each and every one. the past may be gone forever and who knows what the future holds, but our todays are making memories of tomorrow.
- author unknown

yesterday, we went to my dear friend, leah's house, for dinner and then a photo session of my family. i had ideas of what it was going to be like, but it wasn't. it's so different being in front of the camera. and this time, it all ended up being such a learning and growing and...in the end, a pretty emotional experience for me.

almost every time i shoot a family session, i'm telling a parent (or parents) to relax and not worry about the kids...that i'll worry about the kids. last night, as i kept worrying about my kids, i realized how tough, yet important that really is. sometimes the best, most meaningful images, are those where someone is not looking at the camera. or maybe the focus isn't perfect. but the moment is captured. the moment of being together and loving one another, is captured.

i learned that...
it's not about looking perfect. acting perfect. or being perfect.
it's not about the perfect pose or the 'perfect' picture.
it's about being together as a family.
capturing moments together.
having fun together.
that's what's important.

this whole experience has been emotional for me...more than usual b/c of steve's deployment being right around the corner. i dropped him off at the airport this morning, for three weeks of training in HI, and it's almost like a preparation separation for us, for our seven months apart. so these photos...these photos of us together...are so incredibly special.

i can't thank leah enough for taking the time to photograph our family and process the photos. for capturing the moments together that i, myself, cannot. i will forever cherish these photos...my family photos.
thanks again leah...
for everything.
love ya pal.

here's a few of my favorites...

deep in thought she lies
emotive girl; soulful eyes
tomorrow a smile
- steve aldrich

this haiku was created by a photography friend, a friend whom i have never met. he created the haiku specifically for this image. i read it. i loved it. i asked him if i could share his words on my blog. i thought what he wrote couldn't be more perfect.

i can't explain how wonderful it is to have a photograph be more than just a photograph...to be a photograph that evokes thought and emotion. this is what i long to capture every time i shoot.

thanks again steve, for sharing your beautiful haiku.

also, i wanted to share this, from kiele's deaf itinerent teacher, who came to kiele's deaf/hard-of-hearing play performance yesterday. i am beyond proud of kiele and the amazing child she is...through and through!!

Well, I just have to say it again...Kiele was fantastic and she really made the show. I know I'm biased, but Lew is not and he said she was the real actress in the group and the glue in the show. She radiates on stage and off. And I felt her speech stood out, I was just so proud of her! She is amazing Deb, and I don't just mean today...as I've said before, she's got it all, she's smart, so responsible, so naturally sweet from the inside out, sensitive, kind, beautiful. And you share in her success, your drive and perseverance in not letting "professionals" make decisions which could have limited her in being able to achieve her dreams have led her to where she is and where she is going...I can't wait to see where she is going! I was so touched by her today and just had to share with you how much joy she gives me. Every time she came on stage I got teary!

she softened gradually, melting in the light of the sun, all the while thinking, O, this is what it's like to be a planet and suddenly it was over and the universe expanded by one.
- storypeople

if a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as michelangelo painted, or beethoven composed music, or shakespeare wrote poetry. he should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- martin luther king, jr.

this wasn't the quote i had envisioned to go with this image but oh, i love it so and think that in the end, it's just perfect!



no matter what you do in life, do it well and do it proud. do it so well that people can't help but pause...in awe.

i try and remember daily to let others know how much i appreciate what they're doing...no matter how big or small their role might seem.

it doesn't happen all at once, said the skin horse. you become. it takes a long time. that's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. but these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.
- velveteen rabbit

keep your dreams alive.
understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination and dedication.
remember all things are possible for those who believe.
- gail devers

have you been watching the olympics? man, it's been exciting.

and tonight...jumping up and down for the US men's gymnastics.



i was just so darn happy for them. talking about a dream come true for those guys. talking about never giving up hope. talking about determination. wow!!

while so many doubted what they could do, they believed in themselves. they never gave up...and they medaled. they did it!

passion is energy. feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.
- oprah winfrey



so, i'll admit...i love reality TV. and i really love so you think you can dance. have you seen it? if not, DVR the next season. i watch these dancers, with such passion for what they do, and i get the chills. i could watch them dance over and over again. and sometimes i do. because feeling that way feels good. you can feel their passion...in the way they dance. in the way they talk about their dancing.

i want to photograph the way these people dance. and i want people to feel about my photography the way i feel when i watch these dancers dance.

photography is my passion.
photography is my dream.
photography excites me.
it excites me beyond words.

whatever your passion, go for it. what do you have to lose. life is too short and there's nothing better than feeling the power of what excites you!

our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. it is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. we ask ourselves, "who am i to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and famous?" actually, who are you not to be? your playing small does not serve the world. there is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. as we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
- maryanne williamson



for the shine challenge on self portrait challenge

today you are you, that is truer than true.
there is no one alive who is youer than you.
- dr seuss

both these girls...one mine and the other, the daughter of one of my best friends...they both have minds of their own. both of us (leah and i) let them do their own thing...for the most part. they are strong. they are opinionated. they are determined. they are soulful. they are unique. they are...
they!

mine...



leah's...

art is unquestionably one of the purest and highest elements in human happiness. it trains the mind through the eye, and the eye through the mind. as the sun colors flowers, so does art color life.
- john lubbock

when friendships are real, they are not glass threads, or frostwork, but the solidest things we know. a friend is the first person who comes in when the whole world has gone out.
- author unknown

i had the most awesome time, out to dinner with friends last night.


i adore and cherish my friends. thank you for being such a special part of my life!