perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer view again.
[alex tan]

follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first.
ask questions...
then feel the answer.
learn to trust your heart.
[author unknown]

only as high as i reach can i grow,
only as far as i seek can i go,
only as deep as i look can i see,
only as much as i dream can i be.
[karen ravn]

to laugh often and much,
to win the respect of people and the affection of children,
to leave the world a better place,
to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived...
this is to have succeeded.
[ralph waldo emerson]



man, i had such a great day yesterday...
the little ones and i went to toys r us in the morning and bought about 10 puzzles, a hula hoop, a jump rope and bubbles. we did puzzle after puzzle until kiele got home from school and then we went hula hooping (yep, i can still do it. in 5th grade, i hula hooped for four hours and was the school champ ;-), jump roping and bubble blowing. then back inside for more puzzle making. it was so awesome...all five of us on the floor helping one another put together puzzles.
yesterday...
i was successful!

lovin' sky's stripes and sparkles...

dreams are like the paints of a great artist.
your dreams are your paints,
the world is your canvas.
believing...
believing is the brush that converts your dreams into a masterpiece of reality.
[author unknown]

when one door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often we look so long at the closed door
that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
[helen keller]

you can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.
[author unknown]

the aim of every artist is to arrest motion, which is life, by artificial means and hold it fixed so that a hundred years later, when a stranger looks at it, it moves again since it is life.
[william faulkner]

a few favorites from the day...

my mom emailed me a photo of my oma, a couple months ago (my oma past away about a year ago). i had only met my oma twice and we couldn't really communicate, me speaking no german and her speaking very limited english. i hadn't known that she was in the military (as was i). but my oma was in the german army. she lived her whole life in germany and my mom was born and raised in german; she moved to the US when she got pregnant with me. this photo of my mom was from the early 80s, i think (my mom was probably around the same age in the photo as i am now).

so anyways, i thought it would be neet to scan the photo of my mom and put the photos of the three generations side by side. growing up, i always thought i looked like my mom but i actually think i'm a pretty good mix of my mom and dad.

the photo below, from our wedding five years ago, is the only photo i have of my dad.






p.s. thanks shawn for taking the photo of me :-)

this photo is a self portrait that was taken a couple months ago, for a deployment article in military spouse magazine. and no i'm not there yet, but soon...this october i will probably be sitting in this same position, as that is when steve will leave for six months in iraq. it's funny how normally, in january, october would seem so far away. but you get the word your husband is deploying, and all of a sudden 10 months doesn't seem very far away at all.

military wives prayer

at night when i crawl into bed,
my lonely pillow 'neath my head,
i close my eyes and say a prayer.
God keep him safe way over there,
and make me strong so i won't cry.

it's kinda hard to be alone and
teach the kids when they're half grown,
without the strength of a father's hand
to guide them in this troubled land.

so i'll need a little help from you,
to let me know what i should do.
and God please will you let him know,
how much we love and miss him so.

and then i feel across the bed,
to where he used to lay his head,
and i close my eyes so very tight,
so i won't cry again tonight,
and whisper to the evening air,
good night my darling way over there.
[author unknown]

people often ask me,
how do you do it?
aren't you scared?
i don't know how you live that life.

well, i do it and i live this life b/c i, like all other military wives, made a commitment to my husband that i would be strong and take care of the kids and things while he is gone. and that is what i will do. yes, things will be tough at times but it's part of our military family and we will be fine. and sure i'm a bit scared when he deploys but steve is well trained and prepared. now and forever--i will stand strong, as i know that he will worry just as much about us as we will worry about him.

strength does not come from physical capacity.
it comes from an indomitable will.
[mahatma gandhi]

memory is a way of holding on to the things you love,
the things you are,
the things you never want to lose.
[kevin arnold]

today, i found some photos that i had thought i lost, photos from a year and a half ago. periodically, i had looked through my computer, searching for the folder of images, only to be disappointed at not finding them. when i found them tonight (by accident), i couldn't believe it. i was happy...and sad. i was happy to have found the images but sad, thinking about how much my kids have grown up. my babies. what's happened to my babies? how is time going by so quickly? how can i make it slow down? i keep trying to hang on, yet the time keeps slipping away right before my eyes. i want to soak in every moment of my kids--the way they talk, the way the walk, the way they smell, the way they need me and my help, the way they give me hugs--i want to remember it all.
i will forever hold on...
with my memory
and my photographs.

the first two images are from 1 1/2 years ago and the last is from today.





p.s. don't forget to back up your digital photographs!

family means too much,
friends are too valuable,
and life is too short,
to put off sharing with people,
how much they really mean to you,
and pursuing whatever it is that makes you happy.
[author unknown]

the obligatory family photo ;-)


on our winter hike


ryder and the snow couple


taken in one of the casinos


my friend's oldest


we're home from our NV vacation. it's always so awesome to see family and friends. this trip, we spent a week with steve's family in carson city, NV and then a few days with one of my best friends, gwenn, in vegas.

it was so great b/c the first two days in carson city, we got snow. the kids had so much fun playing in it and they built the coolest snow couple. we had such a blast with everyone and cherished every minute together.

gwenn and i are friends from our air force days. the last time we lived in the same state was 1998. we're both now out of the air force and military spouses--me, navy and she, air force. gwenn is a friend that i know i'll have for the rest of my life.

i truly am so thankful for the time i get to spend with family and friends; it doesn't happen nearly enough.

you can kiss your family and friends good-bye
and put miles between you,
but at the same time you carry them with you
in your heart, your mind, your soul,
because you do not just live in a world
but a world lives in you.
[frederick buechner]

and now...it's back to reality and playing tons of catch up.

i am unused, unspotted, without blemish.

i stretch before you three hundred sixty-five days long.

i will present each day in its turn, a new leaf in the book of life, for you to place upon it your imprint.

it remains for you to make of me what you will;
if you write with firm, steady strokes, my pages will be a joy to look upon.
if the pen falters, if uncertainty or doubt mar the page, it will become pain.

i am the new year.
during each hour of the three hundred sixty-five days, i will give you sixty minutes that have never known the use of man.
white and pure, i present them;
it remains for you to fill them with sixty seconds of love, hope, endeavor, patience and trust.

i am the new year.
i am here--
but once past,
i cannot be recalled.

make me your best!

- joe orth

i found this poem at steve's parents house. it was written by steve's uncle in 1991 and proudly displayed on the refrigerator since then.

wishing you all a super happy new year.