it isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. it is what you think about.
- dale carnegie

i've been thinking a lot lately. my ongoing computer problems seem to consume my thoughts these days. and i've been letting them. why? why do i let these silly problems consume my thoughts? why can't i get over these problems? is it me, who somehow isn't letting this all go? sometimes i wonder. i have to through and through let this go and until then, maybe i'll continue to be plagued by these ongoing computer problems. today, i get a monitor replacement. apple's last ditch effort in figuring out what is wrong with my computer. if this doesn't work...my computer will be completely wiped clean, as if purchasing a new computer with nothing on it. and i will work off external drives and start from scratch. i've come to terms that that might happen and it's okay. maybe i need to start fresh. get a clean start.

and last night, i was up late editing (as usual). and i always have to have some sound on, in the background. last night's was MTV's real life. the topic was young girls assuming full responsibilities for their families. one girl was 21 and taking care of her three younger siblings (all in their teens and one pregnant) b/c their mother had committed suicide. another was in her 20s and taking care of her parents, who were ill and couldn't work, and her siblings (all in their teens). my thoughts continued but in a new direction...wondering how i can feel sorry for myself b/c of my computer problems. i thought to myself, are you kidding me? how can you stoop that low and feel sorry for yourself b/c some stupid computer problems? who cares if you have to go to apple 30 times. it will work out. your problems are miniscule, not anywhere on life's radar of real problems. get over it and move on.

at the time, i wasn't quite sure why i was watching MTV, besides the fact that i felt nothing else was on. i could have been watching headline news, right? but i know now. i needed it. i needed to get my thoughts back in order. i needed to be watching MTV...it was the reality check that i needed.

so i say with a smile and strength in my eyes...
here's to stop thinking poor me and feeling sorry for myself b/c of my stupid computer problems. here's to letting go and moving on. i'll deal with it and be happy...that i'm only dealing with stupid computer problems. here's to thinking about how lucky and blessed i truly am. here's to moving on and starting fresh.