well, kiele is.

i decided that i should provide a little update on the kids and thought i was going to be able to post that everything was better but...now kiele has the bug, with a fever of 102. sky is back to herself. ryder also seemed to be back to himself today (although he still has quite a few days on his antibiotics to kick the ear infections). i'm hoping to post that all is healthy in the schwedhelm house real soon. thank you for all the kind notes i've been receiving.

life is full of ups and downs and some days, a few twists are thrown in too. well, today was one of those days...a day with a few twists in it. in my previous post, i spoke about sky being sick. now, ryder is sick (expected, as that is what usually happens with toddler siblings). also it seems that ryder always gets it worse. so i thought that ryder just had the virus that sky had (she's better now) but no. ryder woke up in the middle of the night crying (something he never does) and then this morning, he cried for over an hour straight saying "my ears". i couldn't figure out which ear hurt but i knew with his accompanying 104 fever, i had to take him in. well, ryder ended up with a bilateral ear infection and the MD said that he wouldn't be surprised if the right ear "pops" because that ear is so bad. so i'm thinking...okay, we'll get ryder his antibiotics and everything will be fine. off we go to the pharmacy and by now it is 11 am and none of us (myself, sky and ryder) have eaten yet so while we're waiting for ryder's prescription, we go to the bagel shop to get some bagels to bring home and...ryder throws up in my hand. all i could do was clean everything up, giggle to myself a little (b/c i can't believe it), take our bagels, get ryder's medicine and head home. :-)

we're home now. still sick. but doing well. and hopefully all healthy again real soon.

life is either a great adventure or nothing.
- helen keller

i'm thankful for my adventures, the good...and the not so good.

this photo is from yesterday. i was shooting kiele in the white dress and came across these cool flowers...a whole bush of them. i don't know what they are but i loved shooting them.

we're back home from this year's deaf/hard of hearing family camp. it was so nice to get away as a family with no phones, no tv, etc.--just our family and friends. kiele had such a blast with her friends, we barely saw her the whole weekend. but, sky got sick last night and we had to come home early this morning (kiele was able to stay till it ended and get a ride home with friends). on the ride up to the YMCA camp marston, sky started complaining of her neck hurting very bad, then yesterday afternoon she got a bad headache, and last night she was on fire. i felt so terrible because we had hiked about a mile uphill that day and sky did so great. i'm so hoping it's just a virus and sky will be back to herself quickly.

so, even though we had...
a hurting neck
a bad diaper rash
skinned knees, elbows and hands
a headache
a fever
and had to leave a bit early
we had such a great time
and took home some wonderful family memories.

what is teamsam?

team sam is about a little boy's (and his family's) fight against neuroblastoma. sam was originally diagnosed in january 2005 and relapsed in august 2006. his story and his family's fight is simply amazing. you can read sam's full story here.

i originally met sam through kiele's deaf itinerant teacher because she works with sam too (sam became hearing impaired from one of his treatments). i've talked to sam's mom and dad, margot and neil, through email a few times and offered to photograph sam, donating my time and images to them. we tried to arrange a session but it was so hard because sam would have a treatment, not feel good, etc. i felt so bad because this is something i really wanted to do for sam and his family. well, one day while i was at the school photographing kiele's classmates, i was able to pull sam from his class and take a few pics of him too. the teacher was so excited and supportive...she even gave us a baby chick to take outside with us. it was so great to be able to finally do this for sam, margot and neil...and totally surprise them. i'm sure sam told his mom and dad about the crazy lady who pulled him out of class to take his picture...but that's all they would have known.

i've now been in contact with margot and neil more and they are simply amazing and inspiring...an inspiration to each and every one of us. their dedication and fight is beyond words. neil has even initiated a parent driven project, the magic water project, dedicated to finding and funding treatments for pediatric cancer. it's amazing what these parents have accomplished. on june 11th, a team of eight cyclists will be doing a 24-hour race across america challenge. truly, such an amazing family. please check out sam's site and the magic water project and consider donating to help the fight against pediatric cancer. every penny will help.

i also just learned that the boy in renee c. byer's 2007 pulitzer prize winning photos died of neuroblastoma. in case you missed my previous blog post, you can see her photos here. they're amazing, yet painfully evocative.

ETA (may 27th): as the team sam / magic water project's official photographer, i will hopefully be doing much more for them in the near future!!!

phew...i'm finally done migrating my blog. enjoy!

also, i'd like to publicly thank my great friend, stephanie beaty. i couldn't have done this without her and to tell you the truth, i don't think i'd be where i am today without her friendship. thanks steph!

today, i got to photograph such a wonderful couple, expecting their first (and only) child. she contacted me about a month or so ago to schedule maternity and newborn sessions. we discussed doing maternity photos on the beach. we were both excited. then about two weeks ago, she called me and said that it looked like she was going to have to cancel her maternity session because she had been admitted to the hospital and wasn't going to be released until after the baby was born. knowing this was going to be their only child, there was no way that i was going to let that happen. so i discussed doing maternity photos in her hospital room. i just needed some light and if i had that, i knew i could make it work. well, today i went and had the most awesome time with them and so many amazing photos. L and M...they were real. they were natural. they were comfortable. in the beginning, M was wondering if he should take off his watch. L said, "no why don't you just leave it on; it's part of you". me...i loved that. usually watches are removed for photos. i loved that they wanted the watch in the photos (knowing that there was going to be close up belly / hand shots).

and this maternity shot of L and M...gives me the chills. i love that dad's watch is in it. i love that he has his LIVESTRONG bracelet on. i love that we made it work in her hospital room. i love the light. and...as parents, we hope and dream that our children will forever live strong. so this photo...it's very symbolic for me and i hope that L and M will feel the same.

L and M...thanks for such a wonderful time. i wish you a beautiful and healthy delivery. it's the most amazing experience you will go through in life. enjoy and see you again real soon.

Hopes and Wishes
May you find serenity and tranquility in a world you may not always understand. May the pain you have known and the conflict you have experienced give you the strength to walk through life facing each new situation with courage and optimism. Always know that there are those whose love and understanding will always be there, even when you feel most alone. May you discover enough goodness in others to believe in a world of peace. May a kind word, a reassuring touch, and a warm smile be yours every day of your life, and may you give these gifts as well as receive them. Remember the sunshine when the storm seems unending.

Teach love to those who hate, and let that love embrace you as you go out into the world. May the teachings of those you admire become part of you, so that you may call upon them. Remember, those whose lives you have touched and whose have touched yours are always a part of you, even if the encounters were less than you would have wished. It is the content of the encounter that is more important than the form.

May you not become too concerned with material matters, but instead place immeasurable value on the goodness in your heart. Find time each day to see beauty and love in the world around you. Realize that each person has limitless abilities, but each of us is different in our own way. What you feel you lack in the present may become one of your strengths in the future. May you see your future as one filled with promise and possibility. Learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience. May you find enough inner strength to determine your own worth by yourself, and not be dependent on another's judgment of your accomplishments. May you always feel loved.
- Author Unknown

some friends stay,
some friends go.
the ones that leave,
put us in a somber mood.

but it's okay that they leave,
we'll never forget them.
we write,
and we talk.
we'll never forget.
we'll never forget,
our favorite friends.
- kiele marston

this photo is of my dear friends, stephanie and mike. mike called me to arrange a photo session of just him and steph (she's a photographer too...a lifeographer) to surprise her for their 5th anniversary. of course i would do anything to do that for them. so yesterday, we met in OB and had such a great time. they were willing to try and do anything, which was so fun. then when i got home, i started editing and was sad...sad b/c steph and mike are PCSing (moving) in july. i'm so bummed to know that they're leaving. this is the hard part of being in the military. we make some of the most amazing friends, knowing that eventually they *will* leave. but i know that with steph and mike, we will forever be friends...i have no doubt. they're two of the most incredible people that i've ever met.

steph and mike, thank you for your friendship. thank you for your goodness and all you've done for me and my family. your friendship is one in a million.

the poem above is another poem written by my 10 year old, kiele. i told her what kind of poem i was looking for and this is what she came up with. she's such a gifted little girl.

only as high as i reach can i grow
only as far as i seek can i go
only as deep as i look can i see
only as much as i dream can i be.
- karen ravn

i hope that i always continue to look deeper and dream bigger. i'm not quite sure where i want to be, or where i want to end up, but i do know that i'm not there yet. i say that from a personal and professional level. for now, i will just continue to reach, seek, look and dream.

the feather flies
quietly down.
the feather swings
with the wind.

the feather gleams
in the sun.
the feather lands
on a cat's nose.

the feather falls
to the ground.
the feather helps
a nest of newborn birds.

-- kiele marston

yesterday, i had the honor of photographing the kids from the los angeles no limits deaf/hard of hearing theatre group. no limits was started with one person's (michelle christie-adams) dream... her dream to help deaf/hard of hearing kids enhance their confidence through theatrical arts and individual therapy, while also raising community awareness.

no limits is having a huge fundraising gala on june 2nd and the los angeles kids will be doing a 15 minute skit at the gala. i photographed the kids for the playbill. every year the gala gets bigger and bigger and this year, Extra, Entertainment Tonight, People and Life and Style will be covering it. i'm so happy for these kids and michelle.

i got hooked up with no limits, in 2005, when we first arrived in san diego and heard about the theatre group from another parent. kiele has been participating with the san diego group ever since. it is the most magical thing to watch these kids act. many of these parents were told that their child would never speak and now...they're not only speaking, they are acting. at the end of each performance, the kids stand in a line, state what they would like to be when they grow up and yell "i can do it!". truly, with today's technology and the support of groups, such as no limits, these kids *can* do anything they dream of. this year, the no limits san diego performance (it begins with a dream) will be august 18th at 4 pm. i will be selling tickets a couple weeks prior to the play. hope to see you there!

yesterday was good for my soul...through and through!

the photo is one of the no limits kids!

come,
let us roam the night together
singing

i love you.

across the water
the sun is setting.
night sky is blue.
horizon shines bright
like golden dew.

down the beach
kids are playing.

come,
let us roam the night together
singing

i love you.

-- adapted from langston hughes' harlem night song

once in the rain,
now in the sun.
once full of friends,
now stuck in a corner of darkness.

the damp air i loved
is now full of sweet air.
i've known a life,
that is now long gone.
the new world...
is not full of love.

two years passed,
i'm still in the world.
but it isn't as different,
as i once knew.

i have friends now,
my old freinds still give letters.
i am going to a new world soon...
i wonder what it is?

--kiele marston

this poem was written by my 10 year old, kiele. she is studying poems in school and brought home a few today. i truly couldn't believe it. a girl, who i once so worried about because she was profoundly delayed in speech and reading (due to her hearing impairment), is now an avid reading and writer and in the top 10 percent of her class. i'm so proud of her and she inspires me to become greater than i ever dreamed.

the child is God's gift to the family.
- Mother Teresa

today began as such a frustrating day for me. it started by spending 2 1/2 hours in UPS and USPS, trying to ship prints (yes, i finally did get them shipped :-) later, i spent 30 minutes chasing our dog down the street, while i'm sure all my neighbors thought i was nuts because i was not only chasing and yelling at the dog, but also trying to keep my kids from following me down and into the street. needless to say, i was pretty tense today.

later i took all three kids to get their hair cut. one might think that this would add to my frustration (taking three kids at once to get their hair cut) but man, the joy on kiele's face...that alone made my day all better. she's so grateful for the little things. kiele couldn't stop smiling when she saw her new hairdo...and in turn, i couldn't stop smiling. my day magically got a better! she's such a joyful little girl and I have so much to learn from her goodness and kindness. after steve got home from work, we decided to go to Uno's for dinner (yay...no cooking for me). steve was sitting across from sky and winked at her. sky in turn, winked back at him (with the secret assistance of her hand helping her one eye close). it was the cutest thing and we couldn't help but giggle. as we were all laughing about it, sky piped up and said, "let's see who can wink both eyes" and so she began...expertly and proudly winking both eyes. it's times like this that make the most frustrating days so joyful.

my kids...
the greatest gift in my life!
i couldn't imagine my life without them!!

the photo:
after getting home, i asked sky if i could take a picture of her winking. and so she let me. and in one of the shots, charley ran up like a bullet, gave sky a quick kiss and off he went...like a bullet. when I look at the photo, I can hear sky's laugh...I can feel her joy.

after my session today, we decided to drive to orange to visit the store, room and board. on the way home, we got stuck in a huge traffic jam so we decided to stop at joe's crab shack for dinner in oceanside. we were seated by the hostess and then waited for a really long time before the wait staff figured out who was supposed to have our table. a couple other tables who sat after us got waited on before we did. needless to say, after being stuck in 40 minutes of not moving traffic with two toddlers, i was a bit frustrated (and the little ones were a bit restless). sky and ryder were pretty much acting their usual although maybe a bit more restless...an occasional scream, growl, loud squeal (i mean giggle) and some getting ups and downs. so when the first shout came out, i looked at the elderly couple next to us and whispered "sorry". we went on with our dinner, which happened to include an appetizer and dessert tonight. when we finished, the waiter came to us and said, "someone took care of your dinner. you're all set." at first, i thought it was joe's crab shack because we had sat so long before getting waited on but i knew his statement didn't fit with my assumption so i said, "you mean a customer?". and he said, "yes, someone here in this restaurant took care of your meal. they paid your bill for you. have a great night." looking around, i couldn't believe it...who would pick up our meal and why? so, i decided to write them a note (using a crayon on joe's crab shack paper towel napkins), which said, "thank you from the bottom of our hearts. thank you for your kindess and just know, we, too, will pass on the kindness". i gave the note to our waiter and asked if he could pass it on to whomever paid our bill. he said he couldn't because they just left...it was the elderly couple that was sitting next to us. (the elderly couple, who could have been really annoyed by my kids growls, shouts, giggles and getting up and down, but instead paid our bill.) the waiter read my note and i told him how thankful i was. he said, "yea, kind of like the oprah show". i walked away, holding back my tears of joy and thankfulness until i saw steve and then couldn't help it. of course, steve didn't really understand the tears but that's okay. i'm just so touched and so thankful to the core. i still can't believe that someone would pay our bill with absolutely not a thing expected in return. i just wish there was a way i could thank them. but maybe all they hoped for was that we would pass on a random act of kindness, in return...and that we will. wow. truly, i'm touched.

i've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- maya angelou

there has never been a day
when i have not been proud of you,
i said to my children
though some days i'm louder about other stuff
so it's easy to miss that.
- the storypeople

it's so easy to get caught up in the everyday everything and forget to tell our children how proud we are of them. i really try to hard to remember to tell each of my children every day how proud i am of them...and tell them in a way that is unique as they are from one another.

and the photo (courtesy of my friend, steph) is my personalized necklace, which i so love. you can purchase a personalized necklace for yourself at hayjac designs.

my kids love reading dr seuss books. steve and i read them every single night to the kids. well, tonight i was reading The Shape of Me and Other Stuff and who do i come across? none other than the real blogg. i couldn't help but laugh. who would have thunk?

and today...well, let me just say...a bit of a bummer day for me. nothing major. just enough to bum me out. we all have them every now and then. and we all get over them. in hopes of making myself feel better, i decided to look for some inspirational stuff on the internet and what do i come across? a great inspirational poem by none other than, dr seuss:

i have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.
some come from ahead and some come from behind.
but i've brought a big bat. i'm all ready you see.
now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!

so as i close with a smile...
for the moment, i'm searching for that darn bat
but i will find it
and i will find it soon.

this past weekend, i flew to vegas to photograph my best friend's new baby girl. we've been friends since 1999, when we were both active duty nurses in the air force. we went our separate ways in the military, in 2000, yet we have remained the best of friends even through the distance (she's now an air force spouse and i'm a navy spouse). it's amazing how some people come into your life and you just know you'll be friends forever...gwenn is one of those people. sometimes we don't talk for six months, but when we finally do talk, it's like we had talked just the day before. i'm so thankful for the amazing and honest friendships i have in my life today.