yep, i'm sharing another note that kiele, my nine year old, wrote and left for me this morning. how could i not? i've always known that kiele was a special child but her goodness never ceases to amaze me. this morning i left her a note telling her that i love her and to have a great time on her field trip. and in return, she left me this note, attached to the front door:

"Dear Mommy
Thank you for every-
ing. I hope your day is
just as geart! I love
you and miss you!
Love,
Kiele

Ps. Charley farted! ha
ha.

Pss. Charleys fart stinks."

A little about Kiele...every morning, she wakes herself up and I still don't know how. She has no alarm clock and even if she did, she couldn't hear it (she's deaf while she sleeps. well she's deaf all the time but when wearing her cochlear implant, she hears. eventually we will get her a bed shaker alarm or something but for the moment, she wakes up on her own.). so, anyways...kiele wakes herself up, gets herself completely ready (dressed, hair, teeth, lunch, lets charley [our dog] out, feeds him, etc.) and then walks to school. she does this all before i'm even awake. the little ones and i are usually asleep until 7:30 AM or so. she just amazes me--such a great, great kid. i try to tell her everyday how appreciative i am and how proud i am of her. she's one special little girl.

yes, this is the real me. usually with my kids and 75% of the time, with a messy pony tail on the top of my head.

this week has been an interesting week for me, one of realizing that every now and then i have to have a little 'me' time. lately, i feel like i've really let myself go. of course, over the past years, the focus has been more on the kids than me (that's the way it should be) but when i added the business to the mix, well...i left no time for me. for example, the only time i would get my hair done was when i just couldn't stand it anymore. then i'd go to my regular salon and basically beg someone--anyone--to cut my hair. well, i don't know what got into me but the other day i decided to have some 'me' time. i actually sat down for a cut and highlights (it's been over a year since i had highlights). what a treat that was. and amazing what a few highlights can do for a person. instantly i felt better and thought, wow, i need to take care of myself more often.

well...today...
i went for another treat--a pedicure, something i've only done two other times in my life. i also signed our family up for a membership at the YMCA. most people look at me and say, "you don't need to lose weight" and while i disagree and say, "i need to lose the five pounds that i've recently gained" (probably from sitting at the computer way too much), it's much more than that. it's about getting in shape. and i'm the kind of person that believes that working out is so much more than getting your body in shape; it's therapeutic for the mind and the soul. so, i guess i'm writing this post to remind myself and others--don't forget your 'me time'. don't forget to take care of yourself!

i also wanted to take a minute to thank dina for allowing me to use this photo in my blog. who's dina? she's a wonderful friend, photographer, wife and mother. she's talented, kind, intelligent and beautiful (inside and out). dina is truly one of the most amazing inspirational people i know. so thank you dina...thank you for allowing me to use this photo (and for all the other photos) and for being such an awesome friend.

a couple weekends ago, i met up with a photographer friend, alexandra frankel, from sacramento. alex and i met at a photography workshop in chicago last year. she and her family were here on vacation for a week and her rental house ended up being less than a mile from my house (she had no idea where in san diego that i lived).

alex has two beautiful girls, who i photographed in the hand-me-down dress (you can find some of their photographs in both the main gallery and the hand-me-down dress gallery). we shot all over the place, which was super fun. today, alex emailed me a few photos of myself shooting the girls--so i thought i'd put together a photo of me shooting the girls (courtesy of alex) with a shot that i took from almost the exact same moment.

also i just have to laugh at some of the positions i find myself shooting in. i've had a few photographers send me photos of myself shooting and for some reason i always seem to look rather awkward, although it never feels awkward at the time. so while i might not exactly look glamorous while i'm shooting, i'm can honestly say that i'm not afraid to get dirty.

this is ryder, his sippy cup and his puke bucket (as we call it). so if you're wondering where i've been lately...this is it. we've been hit pretty hard over the past couple weeks (first with the cough, runny nose, ear infection, and pink eye) and then on friday, vomiting and diarrhea. it started with sky but soon after, hit ryder. ryder got it much worse than sky and ended up in the emergency room yesterday for severe dehydration. he received medicine (for his belly), fluids and an antibiotic shot (for a raging ear infection). but through it all, i'm thankful. and that's the point of my post tonight. don't forget to be thankful. i try so hard to think that way, to think about how lucky and grateful i am in every situation. i'm thankful that my kids didn't get sicker than they were. i'm thankful that we ended up in the ER yesterday, instead of today, when steve is in korea. so while i could be thinking about what a bummer this all is...truly, i'm thinking about how lucky i am...how thankful i am. it's not so bad at all.

rabbi harold kushner said it oh so well --
"If you concentrate on finding whatever is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul."

kiele was awarded the Principal's Award in school the other day. it's the highest award a student can get in her school and i can't even relay how proud i am of her. she continues to amaze me each and every day. she's beautiful--inside and out. smart. and her outlook on life is inspiring, to say the least.

some reading my blog might not know...kiele is deaf with a cochlear implant. so she's deaf but she hears...almost as well as you and i, but different (rather robotic sounding). she talks almost as well as you and i too.

but, things haven't always been as easy as they are today. kiele's hearing loss wasn't diagnosed until age three, even though she was hearing impaired from birth (long story). at time of diagnosis, it was also determined that kiele had a profound speech and language delay. she received bilateral hearing aids...but her hearing loss progressed quickly. at age six, her hearing was bad enough that she became a borderline candidate for a cochlear implant, which changed her world...and mine.

through the years, one thing i always knew was that i would keep kiele mainstreamed in her zoned school. it was something that i was passionate about. i was going to fight any and every school, if i had to -- to force them to provide kiele what was educationally appropriate for her needs. and in washington, i had to fight. and i fought hard. kiele's 1st grade teacher and case manager tried to tell me that kiele would be better off in a deaf school. they didn't believe in kiele the way i did. they weren't sure she was going to read. they didn't think she was going to keep up with the other students in her class. on evaluations, they thought that kiele performing below average (but according to special needs was within normal limits) was good enough. i fought for kiele with all my heart and soul. i knew she was capable of so much more -- while performing below average might have been good enough for them, it wasn't for me.

and now...
kiele's one of top in her 4th grade class, getting awards for her academic excellence and acheivement. she's an avid reader, reading entire books in one day. no one doubts her potential these days. no one. everyone knows that kiele is a shining star--a star who touches everyone's life she comes into.

i'm so excited!!!

i was interviewed by a magazine out of the UK called Snap and it's finally available for purchase. it is a magazine that showcases photography and photomanipulation artworks. parts of the magazine might seem a bit edgy for some but with any art form, you have to have an open mind (what one might consider "bad art" can still be stimulating and thought provoking).

i ended up with seven pages of interview and photographs. they also did a piece on my friend Tina and the hand-me-down dress series and we are in discussions of the hand-me-down dress series being continued in the next issue.

the magazine can be purchased as a high resolution digital PDF ($3.50) or print version ($18.15) here http://publishing.forbiddenwhispers.co.uk/publications/snap-magazine/issue002.html

...magical. this shot was after three hours at the los jilgueros preserve in fallbrook. needless to say, sky was a bit tired by the time this shot was taken. of course, i love it.

the los jilgueros preserve is such a great location to photograph and it's great all year round!! there's so many spots that are so beautiful. it's almost difficult to decide which part of the preserve to photograph at.

i know the drive is 45 minutes from san diego but trust me...it's worth it.

if you're interested in seeing more of my photos from the preserve, i will be posting images in both my standard portfolio and the hand-me-down dress portfolio over the next few days.

i love los jilgueros!

a morning of doughnuts it was...and a rough week overall last week. two kids with the worst runny noses i've seen, two kids with coughs, all of us with pink eye and two kids with ear infections. oh yea, and ryder accidentally getting stabbed under his eye with a ball point pen--that's how the week began. but we made it through and everyone is now almost healthy, getting better every day. i'm thankful for today...looking forward to tomorrow.

and the pic--it was from at the dining room table, eating doughnuts this morning. nothing fancy--just a look from a boy that's growing up way too fast. rarely do i get eye contact from ryder so when i do, well...i guess i treasure it no matter what the expression is :-)

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day, you shall begin it well and serenely..."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

...than following your passion. this photo is of a mom. a musician. a woman, ashley gramins, who is following her passion and has created a CD called MAMA ROCKS. i've hinted at this before in my blog and am just hinting again for now...once i know her CD is released and for sale, i'll provide more details (but it really does rock!)

so...for the moment, it's just all about following your passion. it's so important. life is too short not to. ashley is a great example of someone who is following her passion--taking a risk in the music industry. my friend, erin vey, is another example--deciding to focus her photography business on dog photography. i'm another example--ending my nursing career to pursue photography. we all took risks but risks worth taking b/c what we were pursuing was our passion.

it's a great thing. it's a scary thing. but, i think we all should look deep inside ourselves to try and figure out what our passion is and then...if at all possible, go for it.

i love what i do. i'm thankful i took the risk. and i can honestly say that photography is my passion.

took this photo of sky on saturday, testing out the light for my morning shoot. i think i've said this before but...i'm always amazed when i take her photograph. there's something about her. there's a natural soulfulness. i don't have to tell her anything; she and my camera just connect. i think that's the thing. i get the looks that i long for so easily with sky. and of course, i'm amazed she does this at three years old. my little girl is definitely growing up.

it's official...i got the cover. yay! yay! yay!

this is the cover for the april issue of military spouse magazine. i'm not exactly sure when the magazine will be available for purchase but when it is, i will let everyone know. you can purchase military spouse magazine at either barnes and noble or borders. you can also get a subscription through the military spouse magazine . i'm super excited and still can't believe it.

couldn't help but take a photo of this and post it to my blog. my nine year old put thisup on her bedroom door the other day. in case you can't read it...

Kiele's Room! My
Propety!
Girls Rule!
Boys Drool!
Boys and Dogs
Stay Out!
Steave come in!
Charley only aloud in my room when going in crate!
Girls come in.

on february 9th, i released and photographed some pink balloons in memory of a three year old, who passed away from a very tragic acccident. i continue to keep up with the mother's blog and her entry today has made me sob and think. think about life. think about my children.

sheye wrote about her journey, her regrets and her gifts. while her entire writing is poetic, one section that deeply affected me is when she writes about her regrets: not taking her daughter shopping with her more often (it will be easier when she's older), not letting her wear the clothes her daughter wanted to wear, not having the formal tea party she said she was going to have with her daughter...

while i hope and pray that i never have to experience the loss of one of my children, i also never want to regret anything as my children grow up. as they grow, i will progressively lose the time i get to spend with them during their different stages of childhood. soon, kiele won't want me to tuck her in bed. soon, skyler won't need my help writing her name on a piece of paper. soon, ryder won't want me to sit and watch dora with him. so, for me...no matter what, i will experience loss. a loss that can't be prevented. a natural loss. not a painful loss but a loss. i have already lost the baby stages of my children. knowing that this loss is a fact of life, i don't ever want to wonder "why didn't i do this or why didn't i do that with them".

i hope to not minimize anything that sheye has said or is going through. i share this because her writing is amazing and has affected me so. i share this because it's so easy to put off the little things when really, it's those little things that are so important, not only for us, the parents, but for our children. so, instead of sitting on the computer while "dora" is playing, i will sit with my two year old and watch dora. tomorrow, when skyler asks me to color with her, i will. childhood is too short. life is too short. may i always remember how important the little things are and may i never regret!