it's not what's happening to you now or what has happened in your past that determines who you become. rather it's your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you're going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny.
- anthony robbins



when things go wrong, it's so easy to blame the dysfunctional part of my childhood. but then i think...i can't do that or it wins. i really don't want to blame my past...on anything. it makes me angry when i do. i feel that doing that is taking the easy way out.

i once heard that practically every household has some form of dysfunction and that true, complete dysfunction doesn't really exist. it's more like a continuum of functioning, some families better functioning than others. hearing that made me happy. my life, my family was normal, just on a different part of the continuum than some others.

in the end, i know my mom did the best she could for us, her kids, and that's what is important. i have to think that that's what created function amongst the dysfunction in our family. sure it wasn't what i would do but things were different for my mom. how can i fully judge her for the decisions she made when i have never walked a day in her shoes. my life, growing up and now, is very different than hers was.

my mom.
born and raised in germany.
no american education.
she couldn't spell/write.
divorced when i was 13.
we had little money.
her focus was survival.
her focus was her kids.
she did what she had to do.
she did the best she could do.
and i love her for that.

during good times and bad, i hope that i can always remember to focus on the joy of today...and the greatness and possibilities of the future. it is my life and i am the one that controls my ultimate destiny.